Lots of talk yesterday about the TIGER WOODS commercial that will air this afternoon, shortly after Woods makes his return to the green at the Masters tournament in Augusta, GA. It's his first ad for Nike since the scandal.
The black & white Nike ad features a somber Tiger Woods staring into the camera as a recording of his late father EARL plays in the background. His father wants to know what he was thinking, what his feelings are and, "did you learn anything?" The entire time, Tiger is stares blankly into the camera.
Clearly, the father is talking about some long-ago golf outing, but it plays right into the post-scandal environment Tiger is working to put behind him. It's eerie to watch and listen to.
The ad will air exclusively on ESPN and the Golf Channel...and, of course...here.
You've probably heard about him: Taiwan's answer to SUSAN BOYLE.
LIN YU CHUN has taken YouTube by storm with an almost perfect-pitch rendition of WHITNEY HOUSTON's "I Will Always Love You."
He delivered the performance on a TV talent show called "Super Star Avenue" --their version of "American Idol." The chubby 24-year-old with a pudding bowl haircut seems like an unlikely pop star but the performance stunned the judges, won him a record contract and a million-dollar prize.
(Whitney Houston's gotta be hatin' it. There was a time when she could sing...)
Stalking the catwalk ... errr ... spacewalk:
Astronauts don't have to wear those big clunky space suits and wear fish bowls on their heads anymore.
According to Ananova.com, 39-year-old female astronaut NAOKO YAMAZAKI is wearing an outfit by fashion designer TAE ASHIDA.
Yamazaki blasted off Monday in the space shuttle Discovery, headed for theInternational Space Station. For her 13-day mission, she asked the designer to create a slim-knit cardigan top and matching blue shorts.
Designer Ashida said, "It's like a dream come true to see my clothes worn in space."
A farmer in China claims one of her chickens has laid a figure-8 shaped egg
According to Ananova.com, the woman --known as Mrs. DONG-- knew something strange was happening when her hen started making bizarre noises one night. Dong says, "The next morning, I was so surprised to find the weird-shaped egg in the hen's cage."
One professor at a local university say it's highly unusual to see an egg this shape. Dong says she won't be eating the egg. Instead, she'll be saving it in a box as a keepsake.
A construction worker in England claims he's captured the image of a ghost on his cell phone camera.
Panic in Colorado Springs over bus shelter ads featuring puppet cleavage.
The ads were meant to plug a touring production of the Broadway show "Avenue Q" because they show the cleavage of a fuzzy pink puppet.
The advertiser who does the buy for the bus ads, Lamar Advertising, decided the poster might be offensive in Colorado Springs, a city is known for its political conservatism, and home to a number of churches and conservative groups, including Focus on the Family.
The poster has been replaced by one showing the face of another puppet.
"Avenue Q" is a Tony-winning musical about twenty-something New Yorkers, both human and puppets, searching for life and love. Oh, boy! Shows are scheduled in Colorado Springs for March 16-17.
A single mom in Winston-Salem, NC, used a plunger, an empty kitty litter container and the help of a neighbor to scare a rat back into her toilet (Click here to see video).
As KARA WEATHERMAN recorded the video, the male neighbor tried to catch the rat as it scurried on the floor behind the toilet bowl. Suddenly, the rat jumped into the bowl, the man panicked, covered the bowl with the kitty litter container and then flushed. The rat disappeared down the toilet.
City officials think a combination of breached pipes in the sewer system and a rainy weather "probably has rodents desperate for relief."
In newer homes this doesn't happen since contractors usually install a backwater valve, which only allows water to flow in one direction: Out.
(Dig the modern bathroom decor: Pink toilet seat, blue baseboards and mauve-colored walls...)
Ever seen a Japanese Spider Crab? They're huge!
It's the largest known member of the arthropod family, which includes all invertebrates with jointed limbs. They have a body the size of a basketball and legs measuring up to 15 feet from claw to claw. That's long enough to straddle a car.
They live in the Pacific Ocean but the Brits are all excited because a recently captured one is now in the U-K where it's gone on display at Birmingham's National Sea Life Centre.
They're considered a delicacy in Japan, where they're usually salted and steamed, but eating them in the spring is banned because that's when they lay their eggs.
(We're gonna need a backhoe and a lot more butter...)
Media in Phoenix, AZ, have a dilemma on their hands: To show or not to show what's causing controversy in a suburban neighborhood. Images of a homeowner's dead tree carved it to look like a penis.
In fact, the Arizona Republic doesn't mention the word, instead quoting a neighbor who says, "It's a big tree that was carved into a male phallus."
Neighbors say the tree was dead and unattractive before it was carved up. The wood now rises over the side of a cement wall in the owner's backyard where anyone walking by can see it.
Another neighbor said it's "a little bit funny but probably something that needs to be taken down."
The city reportedly received at least one anonymous complaint but only issued the owner an ordinance violation for having a dead tree. He hasn't commented.
One attractive blonde probably said the wrong thing to a local television that did show at least a brief shot of the tree (click here for TV report): "I've lived 20 years in this neighborhood and I haven't quite seen something like that."
(Must have married the wrong man...)
Police think they may finally have caught the St Helen's Flasher.
We just like the story because his mugshot is awesome!
St. Helens, OR, has seen a rash of flashings in the last month. Resident tips and witness IDs led to the arrest of 27-year-old IAN THOMAS RUSHING. ID-ing was easy thanks to a rotting front tooth.
His M-O was to grab an unsuspecting woman from behind. When she pushed away and turned around, he exposed himself.
Shocking detail: He's also in violation of his parole.
He's in jail awaiting a court date.
(And we're guessing ladies that, miracle of miracles, he's single!)
HEY GOOGLE STREET VIEW...WANNA PARTY???
One of the many interesting facets of life captured by those Google Street View cameras is the European roadside prostitute. Turns out there's lots and lots of them.
Click here to check out the ladies of ill repute mega-gallery.
OMG! IT'S JESUS ON A BANANA!!!
Sitting down for an after lunch snack turned into a brush with all things holy when Lisa Swinton saw the face of Jesus on her banana peel.
"I was like 'Oh my God! it's Jesus on a banana!'"
"I got it out of the fruit bowl and was about to peel it and eat it when I saw his face," said Lisa
The impact of seeing Christ pressed into the banana did not stop the 39-year-old from still eating the fruit and depositing the holy peel.
"I put some photos up on Facebook - one of my friends said it looked like a monkey."
(Ray Comfort, Kirk Cameron and Carmen Miranda reportedly come to adore it bearing gifts of fruit...)
A 19-year-old in China somehow ended up with a TV remote lodged up his backside.
Police think it was a part of a prank played by roommates after he collapsed from a night of drinking.
A doctor said, "We didn't know what it was to start with. There was a little bit of blood but he didn't say anything about a remote control. We couldn't quite believe it when we saw the X-ray."
The kid will be fine. The remote, however, is history.
Think this guy will ever watch the Discovery channel? Look, a special about coal miners!
Six people in Germany have been arrested after driving a makeshift train on the public railway system.
Orange News says the crude device was spotted by residents who live along the train tracks. The six men had built the train using lawn chairs and old train parts, then powered it with an electric motor.
Cops sent out an alert to shut down all rail traffic, then sent out a helicopter to track the vehicle. The men were eventually stopped and arrested. A crate of beer was found on board.
One of Santa's little helpers is in jail.
According to the Atlanta Journal Constitution, 45-year-old WILLIAM CALDWELL III got in line to have his picture taken with St. Nick and when he got to the front, he told Santa he had dynamite in his bag. Santa called mall security, Caldwell was arrested the mall was evacuated but no explosives were found.
Caldwell faces several charges, including having hoax devices and making terroristic threats.
(My God, is there no screening process at the Elf Employment Office?)
NOW THAT'S A BIG HOT DOG!!!
Forget those tiny little hot dogs. You need something way more serious. You need the Big Hot Dog, and when we say big, we mean BIG!
The website BigHotDog.com sells giant wieners that measure 16" long, 4" in diameter and weigh seven pounds. The 4-inch girth is the same size as a standard hamburger bun. You just slice patties from the big weenie and cook it on the grill like a hamburger. Voila Hot burger, or ham dogger.
A Chicago-based company makes them fresh every week from 100 percent veal, beef and pork --no fillers.
Check out the video infomercial:
Cost per Big Hot Dog? $39.95.
(That's either the cost of the hot dog or the cost of locker room bragging rights...)
Stupid people, stupid places:
Thanks to a few tattoos, a British man has turned his butt into boobs.
Twenty-eight-year-old JAY NORWELL has had a nipple tattooed to each of his butt cheeks and, according to the London Sun, he "loves getting his "bottom boobs" out at parties and flashing them for everyone to see."
Jay tells the paper, "My mum thought it was stupid but she's given up on me now as a lost cause. I really want to take a picture of my bum in a bra but I haven't found the right size yet."
OFF THE BEATEN PATH:
Nothing livens up a boring city council meeting like a surprise chicken visit. Durango, Colorado, officials were heading into their third hour of local politics at its finest last Tuesday when somebody wearing a chicken costume strolled in.
The timing was perfect; the mayor and council members were debating a backyard hen ordinance. The chicken-head clucked a few times, then took a seat. City officials went about their business, trying not to laugh too hard at their biggest fan.
When they wrapped up their agenda, the fake-chicken respectfully left the room, but not before squatting to lay a fake egg. To this day, nobody's sure who that clucker was.
It's deer hunting season in much of the country. And finding this particular eight-point buck shouldn't be very difficult for you. The male deer got himself tangled in somebody's Christmas lights at a house in Portage, Michigan, on Sunday. The big guy was last seen running towards a Walgreens store, the lights still dangling from his antlers.
Click here to visit the WWMT 3 website and check out a picture of the deer
(He was probably looking for a matching inflatable Rudolph to go with his lights.)
SAMMY SOSA...THEN AND NOW...
Is Sammy Sosa becomming the next Michael Jackson? Check it out below, and you decide.
SOUTH KOREAN WOMAN PASSES DRIVER EXAM ON 950th TRY!
A woman in South Korea who tried to pass the written exam for a driver's license with near-daily attempts since April 2005 has finally succeeded on her 950th time. The aspiring driver spent more than 5 million won ($4,200) in application fees, but until now had failed to score the minimum 60 out of a possible 100 points needed to get behind the wheel for a driving test.
Cha Sa-soon, 68, finally passed the written exam with a score of 60 on Wednesday at the drivers' license agency in Jeonju, 130 miles (210 kilometers) south of Seoul.
Police said Cha took the test hundreds of times, but had no specific total. Local media said she took the test 950 times.
Now she must pass a driving test before getting her license.
(Let's hope she doesn't have to take the driving test 950 times...)
Move over Virgin Mary sightings, there's a new supernatural image in town, coming at ya straight out of Hell. MIKE NOBLE spotted what looks like the face of a demon on his 10-year-old son's bedroom door last Tuesday.
Locals in Erie, Illinois, have already nicknamed the devilish form "the Demon of Erie." You can't look at 10-year-old NICK's wooden door and deny that something is there. To the Noble family, its two eyes are "menacing" and its nostrils are "flaring."
They've lived in the home for more than a year, and this is the first time something wierd has happened right in front of them. That the demon appeared on the door just days before Halloween makes it extra creepy.
The Noble house has been full of visitors once word about their new demonic roomie got around town. Mike hasn't said if they plan to make any changes to the door yet.
THE THEATRICAL TRAILER FOR THE 1957 HORROR B-FLICK "THE DEADLY MANTIS"!!!
Look what I found:
Customs officers at the airport in Dublin, Ireland, arrested a man for smuggling a Chihuahua in a piece of hand luggage.
It was found when his hand luggage was scanned through an X-ray machine and the image of the animal flashed up on screen.
At first they thought it was a toy dog because it was so small and in the X-ray seemed to standing up stiffly. When they unzipped the bag, surprise, a real live doggie.
The passenger had actually travelled from Bulgaria through Madrid, which means he managed to sneak the animal past customs in those two airports.
Legally, dogs must have clearance and a health certificate before being brought into the country.
The dog was intended as a gift. It's in quarantine, doing just fine.
When Meat Loaf sang that he'd "do anything for love, but he wouldn't do 'that'," the "that" he was referring to was hijacking a taxi. That was left for a Meat Loaf wanna-be on Sunday.
In Cincinnati, ERIC BROWN tried taking over the wheel of a taxicab as they cruised down I-75. He had on a vampire costume, complete with make-up, which actially did help him come off looking a little bit like the rock singer.
But Eric's bat out of hell act didn't work. Instead of taking control of the taxi, he was arrested for disorderly conduct and, you guessed it, Eric was drunk too.
(Looks more like bread pudding to me. Maybe the resemblance is only visible by the dashboard light. I would do anything if arrested, but I won't do that.)
For 10 minutes, an apologetic gunman in Indianapolis got down on his knees and prayed with the woman he planned to rob. Then he gave her a hug and fled with $20.
According to the Indianapolis Star cashier ANGELA MONTEZ told police the man said "he hated to have to do this, but times were hard and he had no choice."
She says she began crying when she realized the man's intentions and started talking to him about God, telling him he still had a chance to stop himself from committing the crime.
The robber replied that he had a two-year-old child to support and then asked her to pray with him about overcoming his hardships. The two got down on their knees and prayed, remaining there for nearly 10 minutes, according to police.
In response to Montez's kindness, the man took a bullet out of his handgun and gave it to her, telling the clerk it was his only bullet and promising not to hurt her. He then asked Montez for a hug, took her cell phone and told her wait in the restroom for 20 minutes before calling police. He took $20 bucks and left the rest of the cash in the drawer.
The man later turned himself in after his face turned up on a news report. The place had a security camera, which you can check out by clicking here.
Show listener Mark likes having Photoshop fun with pictures of Tim and pictures of squirrels. Here is his latest submission...would be interesting to see in the lobby at Celebration! Cinema...
TODAY'S WEIRD PICTURE SUBMISSIONS FROM MELIK:
21 pound baby born recently in the Far East...
...and a cat that has been wrapped in duct tape...
(Seroiusly, dude, you need to get a hobby...)
A Spanish bullfighter has gone into the ring with advertising on his cape.
Some are not only shocked by that but by what he's advertising: an energy drink called Gay Up (marketed towards, well, gays).
Famous matadors can make as much as half a million bucks for a day's work in the ring, and promotional and advertising deals are common, but it's almostunheard of for them to advertise while in the arena.
JOSELITO ORTEGA, who says he's not gay, may have a different motive: He's not well-known. He's been fighting only since 2006 but has already been gored seven times.
Matadors are the ultimate in macho in Spain but Ortega says he has no problem if the gay community welcomes him as a symbol. But to advertise from the ring is as close as you get to a sin in the bullfighter's bible.
A VIDEO YOU GOT TO SEE!!!!
It's a lady scratching her ass then sniffing her fingers while waiting in line at a department store. Click here for the video goodness!
Here is the picture of the stuffed squirrel that Tim got from Diane McNeil for the Potter Park Zoo Society:
THE ULTIMATE ODOMETER MOMENT!
She's 93...her car is 45. Click here to read the story and the odometer digits...complete with video goodness.
The Center for Disease Control in Atlanta has come up with a way to make swine flu fun. They've created a "cuddly" swine flu stuffed toy to sell in their gift shop. It's a fuzzy, pink, stuffed version of the actual microbe, seven inches long, and according to a CDC spokesman, "a big hit."
"People will buy it to explain the virus to children," said the spokesman. "The main thrust is education, but there is definitely humor in some of it."
And in case you're wondering, you can buy other novelty microbes at the CDC gift shop, including stuffed toys based on gonorrhea, HIV, anthrax, Chlamydia and bed bugs.
Click here to view the article about them, complete with slide show!
(Also available: Cadaver parts, black market organs and Ebola in a Bottle. And don't forget the newest doll on the market, the one girls everywhere are excited about: Pap Smear Pam! Stirrups not included. However, a plush hemorrhoid seat cushion, somehow makes the most sense to me.)
SOMETHING FOR YOUR CHRISTMAS LIST FOR THE MAN WHO HAS EVERYTHING...
It's the Potty Putter!!!
The Potty Putter is a product that helps you stay sharp on your golf game whenever you have to go to bathroom. You can only work on putting but let's be honest, THE GAME ALWAYS COMES DOWN TO PUTTING.
Check out the TV Commercial...
Visit the website and get one for that special guy in your life by clicking here.
SQUIRREL!!!!!!!!
PIG MAN ARRESTED FOR STALKING THE HANNAH MONTANA
(Soooooowee! Oink! Oink! Grunt!)
YEARBOOK YOURSELF!
A website we've found lets you put your face in old high school yearbook-styled pics...pretty cool and hilarious fun. Check out renditions Tim and Mike did below:
Tim's renditions (starring Sweet Pea the Wonder Dog):
Mike's renditions (a la Lyle Lovett and a Bee Gee)
And here is our weatherman extrodinaire from TV6, Jake Dunne...I can so see this being how he really looked in high school...
And now, here's Todd, or in the case of the gerry-curled one, Jammal...
And there you go. The complete set...you know...just like baseball or Pokemon cards. Collect 'em, trade 'em, sell 'em on eBay...
Click here to visit the YearbookYourself website and make your own!
Metrosexual necessities:
Super-slimming support garments aren't just for girls, anymore! One of the hottest new products hitting the market is called "Ript Fusion", which is described as a "revolutionary torso enhancing" undershirt. Apparently this baby can make that beer gut look a lot thinner! Designer HEATHER THOMAS promises it won't just give you a flatter silhouette, but better posture and (wait for it...) a greater sense of security! Find yours now at RiptFusion.com.
You need these now:Handerpants, the underpants for your hands!
The corny informercial video explains all. Great for keeping those hands soft and only $11.95 a pair (if you NOW!) Literally, they're fingerless gloves only they look like tighty whitey underwear.
(Only tighty-whities? I'll wait for the thong model...)
STUPID PEOPLE, STUPID PLACES...
If you worked for the Italian Coast Guard, you'd probably see a lot of interesting things, but officials were surprised by what came ashore on the beach of northern Italy this week.
The Repubblica reports two 50-year-old men were seized when they floated ashore in a bright pink Maserati sports car.
The men had converted the car into a boat and planned to sail to Venice. The Maserati --which had a speedboat motor attached to the back-- is reportedly able to sail the ocean and drive along the beach.
FINDERS KEEPERS:
Free eggs for you if you can help LANCE McNAMARA get his rocket back.
According to KPTV-TV, Lance's eight-foot rocket was stolen from his family's egg farm in Vancouver, Washington.
The covert op went down Monday night. Lance made a video to explain what happened, complete with diagrams he drew up (Click here to view the video). He said "two bad guys in a truck pulled up, put the rocket in the back of the truck. The nose fell off and made a ping-ping-ping sound, which alerted my wife, who looked out the window and saw the thieves driving away... I'm not very happy."
He didn't think his neighbors were either, as Lance's house has become known in the area as "The Rocket House." He'd like you to either help him find his old rocket, or get materials to build a new one. Lance's GopherBoy Egg Farms is willing to toss you a dozen free eggs as a reward.
Our Video Inventor of the Week is some geek who claims to have built the world's most effective alarm clock.
He hooked up a hydraulic device to his bed so that instead of his alarm going off, the bed bounces up and down like a low rider. The guy says he's a heavy sleeper and he's been using this contraption for four years.
(Incredibly, he's single, but if he ever gets married, hoo boy!)
POOR, POOR TIM...
For those who think Tim makes loads of bucks from his appearences on TV like Babylon 5, here's proof appearence monies are all they're cracked up to be...
FROM THE MAKERS OF THE POCKET FISHERMAN...THE KITCHEN FISHERMAN!!!
A man in China has dug a 50-foot hole so he can go fishing. Just one quirk: He dug it in his kitchen.
The man hired over two dozen villagers for six months to dig the hole so he could reach an underground river he believe was full of fish. He was right. He climbs down the 50-foot ladder, casts a fishing net and hauls in his catch. So far this year, he's earned his family nearly $5-thousand --a king's ransom in China.
(Don't laugh. He's in China. If he keeps digging, he might end up in your basement.)
Those great folks at the Toto Toilet Company in Japan have come up with yet another new toilet-related innovation. Check out this new invention by clicking here.
6/11 DAY IN HISTORY STUFF...
It's a famous photo and it happened on this day, also in 1963: Buddhist monk QUANG DUC set himself on fire on a Saigon street to protest the government of South Vietnamese President NGO DINH DIEM. Hey, I'll give you $50 bucks if you can pronounce either name.
From the "Sorry We Missed It" file...
The new world record for most people dressed as Smurfs was set in the Welsh city of Swansea.
A group of 2,510 people crammed into a local nightclub, dressed in blue costumes, and in some cases, blue body paint, complete with pointy Smurf hats. Most were students from the local university. The figure more than doubles the old record of 1,253 set last year in Ireland.
(So I guess the question is, was the record smashed or were the people who set the record smashed?)
Usually, they say dog is man's best friend. Yesterday during the morning commute in New York City, dog was dog's best friend.
In the middle of a major commuter artery, two dogs: One lay injured, struck by a car; another fiercely protecting the first. Traffic helicopters captured the scene as the German shepherd mix wouldn't allow police or anyone else near the injured pooch. Anytime someone tried to get close, the shepherd would lunge and keep them back. (Click here to view video)
Finally, officers were able to rescue the injured dog while his brave defender ran off to a nearby neighborhood.
The injured pooch is recovering from a broken leg and some internal bleeding; the other dog was retrieved after a 45-minute chase and is back with the owner who, as it turns out, owns both dogs. He found out what was happening when he saw the drama unfolding on TV. No word on how the dogs got loose.
(Makes you wish humans knew how to bark...)
Sometimes necessity is the mother of invention and when two men tried to break into the Tennessee home of WANDA BRAY, she fought them off with a bowl of homemade chili and chased them out of the house with a broom. She's 58.
Police say they were looking for Wanda's medication.
Police arrested the two goobers along with a third person who was acting as a getaway driver. The mug shots are classic...
All three are sitting in the county jail.
A year ago, ANGEL TORRES was crossing the street in Hartford, CT, when he was hit by a car. Surveillance tapes showed motorists driving by and people walking by and not bothering to help. He was paralyzed from the neck down and needed a ventilator to breath as a result of that accident. Police said the video (click here to view) showed a city that had lost its moral compass. Now Hartford has lost Angel Torres. He was 79. The person who hit him still hasn't been found.
Have you ever been to a Body Worlds exhibition?
It's a touring display of anatomical exhibitions featuring the human body in all sorts of stages of life, disease, deformed, deceased, young, old, man or woman. They're actual corpses of people who, when alive, agreed to donate their bodies to the exhibition. The corpses are preserved through a process known as plastination and dissected for display in various stages so you can see bone, muscle tissue, internal organs, cancerous tumors; bodies standing, sitting, running, jumping. It's truly mesmerizing.
And now there's controversy at the latest stop, Berlin, where two corpses, a male and female, are posed in the act of having sex. That's right: Two corpses having sex.
When photos appeared in a local paper ahead of the exhibit's arrival, local politicians fumed --no different than what you might hear in our country.(click here to see a slide show of the photos)
But the exhibit set up strict rules: The copulating couple is displayed in a separate room, absolutely no photos, and no one under 16 is allowed to enter. IDs are check by a museum employee.
It's a sad day in the animal kingdom: The world's largest rabbit had died.
It happened unexpectedly as her owner flew it from the U-K to Italy for a television appearance. Amy the rabbit weighed nearly four feet long and weighed over 40 pounds. It cost almost $25 bucks a day to feed it a diet of apples, carrots, cabbage, fresh hay and a bowl of rabbit mix.
Cause of death: Heart attack.
They sure got some purty birdies in Vietnam. How do we know? Because some dude got caught smuggling the birds into this country by hiding them in his pants.
Authorities say SONY DONG was popped with 14 live songbirds strapped to his legs. The birds were nestled into sleeves hooked onto cloth material dangling off Dong's legs inside his pants.
Police got suspicious when they noticed bird poopies and feather dust on the guy's shoes.
Dong said he bought the birds for $50 bucks there and selling them here for between $300-400.
("Dangling off Dong's legs inside his pants." That may be the only time you could construct a sentence with the words "dangling" "dong" and "pants" without it being be X-rated. Yes, a moment to savor!)
PSYCHOSTICK - "BEER" - THE VIDEO!!!
Good luck on getting something from the griddle at Las Palmas restaurant in Calexico, California. The Imperial Valley Press reports the chef shut the griddle down after spotting the Virgin Mary's image while cleaning it last Wednesday.
She asked a local reverend to come by to see if he saw what she saw. He did, so the restaurant owner "retired" the griddle from service.
It's now on display in a storage room that Las Palmas plans to renovate. BRENDA MARTINEZ invites her customers to stop by any time to view the holy griddle for free. More than 100 have so far.
TAMPERING WITH MOTHER NATURE:
A team of South Korean scientists has created the world's first fluorescent puppy.
By normal light, "Ruppy" looks like any other beagle puppy. In ultraviolet light, she glows red. She's the first transgenic puppy, meaning she was created with some genetic material from another creature --in this case, cloned cells that include a red fluorescent gene sea anemones produce.
He's the most famous naked wizard you've never heard of. Just keep watching your e-mail though; video of him getting tased by police has been one of the hottest forwards over the past week. The Desert Sun reports 23-year-old JOHNATHAN FELCH gained international fame by strutting his nude self all over the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival in Indio, California, a couple of weeks ago. In his mind, it was simply "a good time."
Cops ensured John that he could still have a good time while clothed, and politely handed him his discarded wizard costume. Johnny wasn't quite ready to stop waving his wand around though. After a lot of back and forth with officers, all of it excellently filmed and uploaded to YouTube, police broke out their Taser.
Figuring he was drunk, they saw it as their only resort, lest the nude wizard harm festival-goers. Others have seen the tasing as excessive use of force. As for Johnathan: he got out of jail Saturday, and was actually clothed.
Click here to check out the video for yourself. BE ADVISED: the video may not be safe for some open-office environments.
REAL LIFE SHREK AND FIONA GET HITCHED!!!
Keith Green and Christine England had a marriage right out of a movie. The couple recently tied the knot and decided to dress up as the main characters from the Shrek series -- green makeup and all. The 44-year-old groom went as Shrek, while his 40-year-old bride got dolled up as Fiona. The 100 guests who attended the nuptials also got into the spirit of the event by dressing as characters from the popular film franchise. The bride said, quote, "Every girl wants a fairy tale wedding and I got one -- with a bit of a twist. It was a real laugh. The idea just came to me. I knew that we would go as them because Keith looks just like Shrek."
The newlyweds were so serious about looking like the characters they spent three hours with a makeup artist to help them resemble the characters as much as possible.
Swallowing the punch:
Here's an excuse for you to eat chocolate today --it might be God's will. The U-K Telegraph snapped a picture of what could possibly be the world's only Holy Kit Kat Bar.
Its owner took one bite, and instantly saw the face of JESUS CHRIST staring back from the crunchy treat. Others who've seen the picture think the face in the Kit Kat looks more like Darth Vader than the Son of God.
(Most can't believe nobody's finished eating it yet...)
Even the animals are depressed over the ecomony...
Last October some dude in Pflugerville, TX, got popped for DWI on a stolen steamroller. What must that have looked like? You're in luck: Police have just released the video, (which you can view by clicking here), and it's BIG news in Pflugerville!
(Maybe he just wasn't used to the front-wheel drive...)
Amazing medical news from Russia! Doctors in the city of Izhevsk (ISH-visk) have removed a five centimeter fir tree removed from patient's lung.
According to Komsomolskaya (come-so-MOL-ska-ya) Pravda, a man complaining of chest pains and coughing up blood went to the hospital where X-rays revealed a tumor in one of his lungs. Doctors suspected cancer and schedule surgery but when the cut into the tissue they found a little baby tree, complete with green needles.
"I blinked three times, and thought I was seeing things," said one doctor.
The internal bleeding was being caused by the tree needles poking at the man's capillaries.
Too large to be inhaled, the doctors think the patient inhaled a small bud, which then started to grow inside his body.
The lung tissue with the little fir tree has been removed and preserved for further study...
Here you go...The OctoMom costume pic...
We're a little late on this Family Fracas of the Week, but aside from it being a funny story, the photo of family patriarch is just asking for a caption contest.
According to the Frederick News-Post, Maryland State Police arrested a grandfather, father and teenager for various crimes this past Sunday.
It started when the father, 42-year-old MICHAEL SHOEMAKER, and his 17-year-old son broke into a house to steal a dog. Michael said he'd come back and burn the house down, so police arrested him for making an arson threat.
Then, while troopers were investigating at the home, the grandfather showed up, 66-year-old ROBERT SHOEMAKER. He got testy with the cops so they charged him for disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.
Oh, and it's his home. Turns out the son and grandson were trying to rob grandpappy's house.
And, now for the grandpappy photo goodness...
Everyone's been talking about that story about the bunny with two noses.
A Connecticut pet shop owner found the bunny in a delivery of six-week-old dwarf rabbits that arrived last week. He says he's never seen anything like it: Two little noses, four little nostrils.
One zoologist says it could've been the result of too much inbreeding or exposure to pesticides.
(Whaddya name the bunny? Wanna sound clever? Suggest they name the bunny Nezzen. It's the French word for nose and Nezzen is nez spelled forward and backward --two nez. See how smart you are? Wait...that's not two noses. That's just a hare-lip. Get it? Hare? Ahem.)
LADIES...DON'T TAKE LIFE SITTING DOWN...GET THE GO GIRL!
OK, ladies. You may have had the situation while out in public where you had to go pee, but couldn't find a place where you could? Now the Go Girl comes to the rescue!
If a story about a woman's cosmetic implants going bad isn't funny, one wonders why a woman in Knoxville, TN, would allow a TV station to put her story on the air.
APRIL STOKELY spent $55-hundred dollars on butt implants. They went south --literally, and here's the news anchor on WTLV-TV trying his best to keep it together while his co-anchor off camera is losing it. Well, when the footage shows the woman poking and pinching her cheek implants --and they're sagging big time-- it's hard not to laugh.
April says she just wanted a curvy figure but the implants droop so badly, sitting down for too long gets painful.
She won't name the physician but another TV station in town reports that "there's no indication he did anything wrong and he has a clean record with the state health board."
Buttocks augmentation, as it's called, is one of the more difficult implant surgeries; some doctors won't even do it because of complications and dissatisfied patients.
April admits she made a mistake. "It's been terrible, my pain and embarrassment. I'd never do it again."
What's the going rate in Louisiana for two young kids these days? How about $175 and a pet cockatoo?
Three people agreed to the swap and they've now been charged in the transaction for a 5-year-old boy and a 4-year girl. It began when 53-year-old DONNA GREENWELL spotted a flier selling a cockatoo for $15-hundred. She called. PAUL and BRANDY ROMERO answered. They'd been trying unsuccessrully for years to have a child. When they told that to Greenwell, she allegedly offered to hand over the two kids for two grand. Too expensive, said the Romeros. They whittled it down to an even trade: the bird for the kids. The $175 bucks was for attorney fees.
A phone tip to police led to the arrest and the kids are now in state custody.
And, of course. the mug shot goodness...
If your screen is dirty, click here to get it cleaned
THE MOST USEFUL DEVICE SHAPED LIKE A PAIR OF BREASTS EVER!
The new Bra Dryer is designed especially for drying off women's support garments. No more tangling in the dryer. No more hanging 'em to dry in the shower. No more ruined underwires. Just pop it into the boob-shaped heat fan, choose the proper setting and wait
Click here to visit the website to order your own.
Sorry ladies, the owner of the world's longest ear hair is married.
That would be 58-year-old RADHAKANT BAIJPAI with ear tufts stretching an impressive 25 centimeters (nearly 10 inches), which is nearly double the world record. The Guinness Book people crowned him back in 2003 when the ear hair was 13.2 centimeters (over five inches long). He just kept growing them and now, after appearing in various London newspapers, he's waiting for the Guinness people to confirm his new world record.
Radhakant, who's from India, says he's been growing ear hair since he was 18. His wife? He says she used to bug him about clipping the follicles until Guinness anointed him as a record holder and now she goes along because it's a source of pride for him.
In case you missed it, a woman missed her plane and let the Hong Kong airport know she wasn't happy, acting out in epic proportion. Simply put: She went freakin' nuts! And lucky you, modern technology didn't miss a thing, as someone flipped open their cell phone and capture the unidentified woman's tantrum.
The plane was still at the gate, but the gangway was retracted. Rough translation of what she's saying: Why can't you let me on the plane? It's still there. Why won't you just roll the gangway back out to let her on. Why can't I board it? What do I do now? It wasn't clear but some reports said her dogs were on the plane.
The woman caught another flight a few hours later.
(Wow! Yoko Ono flies commercial?)
GEE, GRANDMA, WHAT LONG NAILS YOU HAVE!
A Utah woman listed in the Guinness Book of World Records for her long fingernails has lost them in a car crash. Lee Redmond of Salt Lake City sustained serious but non-life-threatening injuries in the accident Tuesday.
Redmond's nails, which hadn't been cut since 1979, were broken in the crash. According to the Guinness Web site, her nails measured a total of more than 28 feet long in 2008, with the longest nail on her right thumb at 2 feet, 11 inches.
Salt Lake County Sheriff's Lt. Don Hutson says Redmond was ejected from an SUV in the crash and taken to the hospital in serious condition.
Redmond has been featured on TV in episodes of "Guinness Book of World Records" and "Ripley's Believe It or Not".
(Only one thing worse for a woman than having a bad hair day...breaking all her nails!)
What has 17-thousand calories and floats on the high seas? Avast, ye land blubbers: It's the Meat Ship.
That's right, a model ship made out of meat --bacon, sausages, mince, whatever. You load the meat into a pastry shell, drape bacon over the mast to create the sails, and you're ready to plunder and pillage your arteries! Arr!
The website is part instructions and part recipe, from assembly to over to dinner table --perfectly disgusting.
("Picture yourself on a boat full of liver, With andouille meat, and larded beef pies; Somebody calls you, you move rather slowly, the bacon's gone straight to your thighs...." With apologies to Beatles fans of "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds"...I couldn't resist!)
Why give her a Whitman Sampler when you can hand her a smiling chocolate Buddha to bite the head off this Valentine's Day? ChocolateDeities.com offers religious symbols of all the major faiths and even some lesser known ones (except Islam, of course: no Muhammads in milk or dark!) with surprisingly detailed descriptions of their origins and the beliefs around them. The Sacred Heart will run you about $25, a dozen little Krishnas are $34, the Totem pole is $21, two different styles of Kokopelli, and an enormous Mayan Calendar --one of their larger products at a couple of pounds-- at $56. You get the idea.
ANOTHER CANDIDATE FOR "MOM OF THE YEAR"
WDTN-TV reports a Dayton, Ohio mother pimped her own daughter out as a hooker last month. 45-year-old TERESA BROCK offered 19-year-old DANIELLE to undercover officers over the phone. Her words: "my daughter is beautiful and available to offer personal favors for a price." Danielle then got on the phone and told the cop that for $60-dollars, she was "willing to do a lot." When police arrived for the sting, Danielle begged for their mercy. She explained that she's addicted to heroin and didn't prostitute herself often. The heroin part was true, at least. Officers found a gelcap of heroin in Madame Mommy's pocket.
Check out the scary mug shot of mom below (mom on left, daughter on right). It's enough to scare even the horniest guy away from hookers for life.
If you'd like to try your hand at landing that US Airways passenger jet in the Hudson River --now you can!
There's a free online game called "Hero of the Hudson" available on AddictingGames.com. And as of Sunday night, more than 1.4 million attempts have been made to safely land that plane. Here's how it works: you use the left and right arrow keys on your keyboard to gain control of the falling plane before it hits the water from an altitude of 15-hundred feet.
THERE ISN'T ENOUGH ALCOHOL ON THE PLANET...
Check out the video below! These guys in Norway take flying to a new level. Donned in "wing suits" they jump off the edge of high cliffs and literally fly over the jagged mountains, sometimes coming within inches of crashing into a mountainside.
This is possibly the most embarrassing thing that could happen on a ski lift.
A skier at Colorado's luxury Vail ski resort was left suffering from a double case of exposure after a freak accident left him dangling upside down and pantless from a ski lift. The man - who has not been identified - boarded the high speed lift in Vail's Blue Sky basin last Friday morning with a child.
Apparently, the fold-down seat wasn't in the correct position and the guy fell through the resulting gap. Lucky for him one of his skis snagged onto the chairlift or he'd have fallen to the ground. But with his boot still stuck to the ski's binding, his pants got stuck on the chair, so he ended up hanging from the lift, totally naked from the waste down.
Nearby skiers were sympathetic. Before calling for help, they snapped photos and someone sent them to the Smoking Gun's website. Now they're all over the web.
It took Vail personnel about 15 minutes (seven, by some accounts) to dislodge the exposed skier. He's okay. Oh, also on the lift when it happened: The guy's son. He's fine.
Here's an infomercial we can't resist and neither should you. Everyone should have a Wunder Boner. No, we're not kidding, and no we're not being perverts, either.
Anyone who likes to fish knows what a pain in the neck it is to bone the fish after you've caught 'em. As you might guess, the Wunder Boner makes it a cinch, that is, if you believe the infomercial . It was a late night staple back in the 90s and the product is no longer available (the 800 number is a fax line now).
Best line in the commercial (or the worst): "MY wife would like that!" We're not kidding.
OMG! IT'S A PURPLE SQUIRREL!!!
Teachers and pupils at Meoncross School in Stubbington, Hants, UK were amazed when they saw the creature through the window during a lesson.
Since the squirrel, now nicknamed Pete, was first seen, it has become a regular fixture at the school but no one has been able to say whether the animal has fallen into purple paint, had a run-in with some purple dye, or whether there is another explanation.
Click here to read the complete story from the London Daily Telegraph.
WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER KISS A MONKEY...
WHAT GUY DOESNT WANT TO SMELL LIKE A FLAMEBROILED WHOPPER
If you're trying to find the perfect gift for the man in your life who loves fast food and also likes to smell good, your search is over. Burger King has announced this week the launch of Flame, a new men's' cologne that smells like -- char-broiled meat.
In announcing the scent, the fast food company said, quote, "The Whopper sandwich is America's favorite burger. Flame by BK captures that love and gives it to you. Behold the scent of seduction, with a hint of flame-broiled meat."
The company is selling the cologne for $3.99 online at firemeetsdesire.com. The website features images of roses and waterfalls accompanied by seductive music and photos of a scantily-clad Burger King mascot, the King, lying on a bearskin rug. Make sure you "spray" several times to get the full effect!
LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT GIFT FOR MOM???
When you're talking tasteful and practical gifts for mom this holiday season, you're talking Hood Thong.
The Hood Thong is nothing more than the hood of a sweatshirt --those crazy kids, they call 'em hoodies!-- attached to an extended codpiece that covers up the privates.
And thanks to the hooded material, the face of the model's modeling the Hood Thong in the photo is largely covered; the rest of her, not so much.
You can check out their website...maybe order one for that special woman in your life...share the link with co-workers...by visiting http://www.hoodthong.com.
JAKE DUNNE BREAKDANCING!!!
Check this out, Tim Barron Mornings/TV6 weather dude Jake Dunne and his TV6 weather compadres David Young and Rob Dale break dancing!!! Click hereto see the hilarity!!!
Country singer MARTINA McBRIDE is appearing onstage with ELVIS PRESLEY. It's a new music video for their electronically created duet on The King's holiday hit "Blue Christmas."
With computer trickery, Martina was placed on a stool next to Elvis from his 1968 "comeback" TV special and it's really good. There are parts when they look at each other and smile. Martina's hair, dress and makeup are pure 1968 too.
The track is part of a new album called "Elvis Presley: Christmas Duets" which is in stores now. G.A.C. TV will start airing the video today.
Jones County, Mississippi, is the proud home of a new inventor, JOHNNY HENRY, inventor of the vibrating toilet seat.
He tells the local paper, the Laurel Leader-Call, "I wanted to create something that is a little unusual," and he continues to work on the invention "to make it look more slick, modern and appealing." Right now it works with a remote control --the higher speed increases blood flow and stimulates your muscles-- but "I want it to automatically turn on when someone sits on the seat."
Why make a vibrating toilet seat? Henry says, "It's to make you feel good while you are there."
Wasted away again in Margaritaville: Deputies at an Idaho jail had their hands full with a woman arrested last month for drinking too much.
The Idaho Mountain Express says 41-year-old LORI BRUTSCHE-ELY rammed one deputy into a wall, punched another, bit another, and then managed to set off a fire sprinkler, flooding the jailhouse. And that was after she'd been arrested at a local tavern after taking off all her clothes.
Once order was restored.
(The hilarious mug shot)
Lori was charged on multiple counts, including battery, obstruction, resisting arrest and indecent exposure. She's now out on bail. (Couchman/Maiman)
(Bail? Know what that means guys? She's available! Nice to know the local zoo has bail money for when one of the animals escape.)
Ya know the tank that holds the water for your toilet? What if it were a fish tank? Some firm in China came up with this so that when you sit on the throne, you have a fish tank behind you. Check it out!
It's actually three tanks: One for water flowing in, another for water flowing out, and the third one for the fish.
What's the pitch behind a fish tank toilet? Perfect for families who don't have space for big fish tanks, and in major Chinese cities, apartments are very small.
It's completely safe for both fish and humans, and because the tanks use less water, they're environmentally friendly, while the LED fish tank lights can also be used instead of bathroom lighting.
You can check out all the models available on the company website by clicking here.
(OK...does this mean a new way to sit on the toilet to do your business and watch the fish? Quite a visual, eh?)
HIGH SCHOOL HIJINKS:
A high school teacher who got caught up in a game of Truth or Dare with her students is facing calls for dismissal after doing a striptease for the class. The London Sun was there with video (click here!) captured by a quick-thinking student.
Happened in Hungary. The teacher supposed to be supervising an end-of-term party at the school. Someone else slipped on JOE COCKER's "You Can Leave Your Hat On," and off she went to the howl of students. She didn't get far, stripping down to her bra before another teacher covered her with a tablecloth.
One angry parent said, "It is disgusting. What kind of teacher acts that way in front of her pupils. She should be in a lap dancing bar, not a school."
The school's headmaster says he won't fire the teacher since the teacher showed no more flesh "than you would see on a beach" but "I was forced to give the German teacher a warning"
(Suddenly, all the teenage boys in Hungary have a burning desire to take German. (Ach du lieber!) Now there's a liberal arts education, or at least one with a few s-extracurricular activities. I love it when a lesson plan comes together. Of course, when you watch the video, you realize this coulda been a whole lot worse. The other teacher could have been the one who stripped.)
BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND FOR HALLOWEEN...THE PARTYING PUMPKINS!!!
This is what happens when pumpkin jack-o-lanterns party a bit too hearty...
THE END OF THE WHIZZ...
If you were gonna buy one of those "Whizzinator" prosthetic devices so you could fake a drug test --too late.
The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reports the owners of the company, which also makes a device called "Number 1," are expected to plead guilty to conspiracy to defraud the government after they were charged yesterday in federal court.
GERALD WILLS and BOB CATALANO, the President and VP of the Northern California company, were caught up in a sting operation. Undercover officers ordered one of each product and had them shipped to Pennsylvania, then charged the pair with defrauding the government's Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, which is the federal organization responsible for the workplace drug testing programs.
Considering these guys are being sentenced today (Thursday October 16) this may not be on the web much longer, but for your amusement you can check out the Whizzinator site by clicking here.
Many people love those monster trucks, but how about a tricked-out Smart Car? You got it. Some smart-aleck (Get it --Smart aleck?? Ha!) jacked up the suspension and added monster truck tires to his SmartforTwo car and drives it around... although the tires are nearly taller than the body of the car
A unique situation... a car accident in which the driver's blow-up doll inflated upon impact.
The blow-up doll was inflated in all its glory and easy to see through the hatchback window of the Ford Fiesta.
No injuries, just damages.
OK...here it is...the story and the pic of the frisky cow in Bulgaria that jumped a 68-year-old woman. The woman's okay; reportedly, the cow has a date with a butcher. Notice the donkey in the background and the sheep in the foreground watching this unfold...
(Reminds me of a story I heard once. Two dogs meet up in the waiting room of the vet's office. The big one asks the smal one, "What are you here for?" The smaller one says, "Well, my owners left me tied out all the time, and this neighbor kid kept coming over and teasing me and poking me with a stick, and finally I hauled off and bit him, and so the vet's gonna put me to sleep. How about you?" The bigger dog says, "I've got this female owner who hangs around the house all day and likes to do housework naked, and it's been driving me crazy, and she bent over to dust something and I couldn't resist and I jumped her." The little one says, "Whoa. That's pretty harsh that she'd put you to sleep for that." The big dog says, "Sleep? Oh no, I'm just here to get my claws trimmed.")
Tim Barron for President
Play the video below for news story on the grass roots movement to get Tim Barron elected to the highest office in the land!
The Second American Revolution
With all the calls by the political parties for unity, view the video below and see if we could use a little common sense here.
And while on the subject of making sense...
A listener recently received a letter in the Mail from Michigan Deptartment of Human Services informing them that as a result of the Federal Deficit Reduction Resolution, they, as a RECIPIENT of Child Support and NOT on any State Assistance, are to be charged $25 to help offset the Federal Deficit.
Hmmmm.... seems ONLY people RECEIVING Child Support are targeted. ONLY those that are NOT on Assitance (penalized for working???)... Huh?!?!?
Think we're kidding about this? You can view this letter sent out by the Michigan Department of Human Services by clicking here.
